After You Get the Recruit

Posted on June 9, 2010

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I am about to disclose something personal that has happened in my marriage that I think is reflected in our organizations, businesses, churches, schools and anywhere recruiting is used.

A little more than 9 years ago, I met my wife at a college event when she was a senior at Howard University in Washington, DC. The second time I saw her, I knew she would be my wife. So, I began recruiting (or courting, getting to know her, you know the routine). Of course I put my best foot forward, because I wanted to show her how bad I wanted to be with her and how special she is. It worked. We fell in love, got married and have a good life together, minus a few “little” things.

The frequency of the “little” things I did in the “recruiting phase” has not really been done with the same intensity like 9 years ago. In other words, I have not shown her, as much as I should have, how special she is to me. Of course I do nice things and we hang out (without the kids like old times). But I can do better, more often. And what I did to “recruit” her is why she said yes. So if I want her to stay and be happy, I need to “show a little more affection.”

I’m guessing the people you have recruited to your teams at work, school, church or home may feel the same way, too. Are you consistently “showing a little affection and appreciation?”

(Message to my wife Ericka: “Hey babe, how about I give you a massage after work?”)

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